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Archive for January, 2011

Joe Moko: Harbaugh is a CHUMP

The bad boy Joe Moko is back. Recently he re-broke the nose of Robert Van Peet, beating the former UFC prospect for a 2nd time. That story is still to come. We are waiting for legal rights to publish story from fight promoter. Here is Moko’s 1st full column in quite a while. Enjoy it.

Yo, da big man back. I busted up dat gas pumping b*tch Van Peet, now I gotta new chump. His name is John Harbaugh coach of da Ravens. Yo, you weak for not firing that b*tch Cam Cameron. Is he yo boyfriend? Why you not fire him then?
I wanna spar with you. I wanna put the mouthpiece in and dance. I weight 506 lbs, I look like butterbean. Yo, this whiteboy can punch homey. Ravens should fire Harbaugh. He weak yo, thats why.
I writing a story america. Listen to me speak. Yo, yo yo, I wanna fight John Harbaugh. I wanna hit him with a uppercut. Yo John, you wanna dance?

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Posted by    Date: Friday, January 28, 2011

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BULGER would whip Flacco in a QB competition!!

Flacco has already been called Ben Roethliserbergers B*TCH! Its embarrasing B-More! Lets get rid of this retard QB! I guarantee you if Marc Bulger was QB, we would be playing in the AFC Championship Game this weekend in Baltimore! One Baltimore Sun writer insisted the Ravens should give Bulger a chance to compete for the starting job next season.

I say its common f*cking sense! Bulger has better career numbers than Wacco does. He has never had the talent group of WR’s Flacco had either. Bulger would stomp Flacco in a FAIR(he will never get a fair competition) QB training camp competition next season.

I promise, until Flacco can beat Roethlisberger, I will NEVER say anything good about him on here. It aint the Steelers who are SQUEELING, its Flacco at the hands of Big Ben! I hate them Steelers, and I have to watch my teams QB, become one of their QB’s B*tch? This is BULL!! I bet Roethlisberger could NOT beat Bulger!

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Posted by    Date: Wednesday, January 19, 2011

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Mattison is GONE, 1 Moron Down, One to GO!!

Greg Mattison took a college job at Michigan doing the same job he did in the NFL! He is going to be Michigans defensive coordinator. Maybe Harbaugh gave him the clue, he should get the f*ck out of Baltimore. This senior citizen, costed the Ravens the game, with his 3 man rushes. It became a big thing in the media this week outside of Baltimore, with them all laughing silly over Mattisons playcalling.
I say One Moron in Mattison is GONE, now get rid of the other *sshole in Cam Cameron!!

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Posted by    Date: Wednesday, January 19, 2011

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Flacco is Roethlisbergers B*tch!!

Screw the entire media department in the Ravens office! You all refused to approve a interview i did during the season! So now, we are all going to tell the f*ckin truth.

Joe Flacco is Ben Roethlisbergers B*tch! He cant beat him, and Big Ben has beaten us 7 times in a row now!  Flacco is NOT the QB of the future. Yeah, the damn Ravens will make him the starter the next couple of years, and we will get into the playoffs. But once again, he is NOT good enough. He couldnt put points on the board with 3 pro-bowl WR’s!

HTF is he going to put points on the board without Mason and Houshmanzadah next season? He wont. Flacco is the slowest QB in the NFL, and he runs backward when he scrambles! He cant throw on the run, the guy is a f*cking bum! The Ravens will NEVER be a Super Bowl team with Flacco. If they would have used Bulger this season, we would have had the #1 ranked offense in the NFL.

They used Flacco only cause he has a name. Flacco is a JOKE! He is Ben Roethlisbergers b*tch, point, blank!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by    Date: Monday, January 17, 2011

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Joe Moko BEATS UP Steelers Fan after game at BAR!!

Joe Moko is currently in jail as we speak. This info comes from his homeboy “Towtruck Tom”. From what is known, Moko had one too many beers, and following the Ravens playoff loss, a Max Meadows man started talking smack in the bar where Moko was watching the game. “He said we own them f*cking Ravens” says Towtruck Tom.

Joe Moko said he will own him, if she dont shut his mouth. The guy thinking Moko was just a ordinary fat guy, stood up to him. Thats when Moko hit him with 3 unanswered punches knocking out one of the Steeler fans teeth. “Joe really blasted him. He was spitting blood, they called the ambulance for him” says Towtruck.

At one point when the Ravens blew their 14 point lead Moko was almost kicked out of the bar, after he threw his beer bottle against the wall. The bartender knew who he was, and didnt want to try to remove the bad*ss Ravens Red Zone columnist.  When 2 cop cars arrived carrying 3 policemen, Moko was taken down without giving a reason of what happened.

One citizen who was at the bar said” the police are really tired of him up here. He has been a pain in there *ss ever since he moved up here”. We will bring you Joe Moko’s comments on incident, if and when he is released. There are some reports that he may face some serious time, since he constantly gets in bareknuckel’s.

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Posted by    Date: Monday, January 17, 2011

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John Lee Roy Linde: Pre-Game article(sorry its now just posted)

John Lee Roy Linde January 15 at 1:07pm Report
“IT IS TIME!”

Go ahead and yell at me, I know I’ve been quiet lately. Sorry about that, but my personal life has been intervening in a bad way. Enough about that. So, let me start this off with something historical;

“Today, is a day that will live in infamy!” What? Too much? Ok, how about this: “I have a dream!” What?! You don’t like that one? Sheesh, some of you are hard to please! Alright, let’s try this one: “WHAT TIME IS IT?! *GAME TIME*!! WHAT TIME IS IT?! *GAME TIME*!!” Yeah, I thought you’d like that one.

I know a lot of writers(every single one in both towns, actually) has been all over this subject all week. All the stats have been laid out, nitpicked, and emphasized with a hot-purple(or gold) highlighter. You guys know me, I don’t follow statistics very much. The short reason for that has to do with Murphey’s Law. If you don’t know about that, google is your friend.

There are three kinds of thinking on todays game; Unrealistic: Ravens will curb-stomp the Steelers and blow them out 35-10. Traitoristic: Steelers will curb-stomp the Ravens 47-3. and Realistic: It’s going to be a tough game for both teams, and it will boil down to the team that makes the most mistakes.

Those who read my last article about the Ravens/Steelers, will remember that Big Ben has earned my respect for playing an entire game with a broken foot and a freshly broken nose. As a person, I don’t really like him, but I won’t sell him short on toughness. He has the talent to make Ravens fans cry. Two teams, very much alike. Heard this stuff all week. Yes, it’s true, I know. Both are smash-mouth teams who enjoy getting physical. They both bring out the best in each other. Ok, fair enough.

There is an intangable quality to todays game, though. Last time it was for the AFC North lead, and yes, that was an important game. This one, however, has much higher stakes. Many people “Believe” that whomever wins this game will be playing the Superbowl. Tom “Skirtwearing” Brady may have something to say about that, but who takes that sissy seriously? Hell, I wear (Ravens purple or black) nail polish, and I don’t take him seriously! There is a very good chance that the winner of this game will be playing in Dallas. The Ravens are of the mindset that this is “our time”. The confidence they display is that “We WILL do this.” There is no question. There is a huge difference between confidence and arrogance. This teams head is in the right place.

Knowing their opponant so well will work in the favor of both teams. It will also work against both teams. They know what to expect from each other. This is both good and bad. It will be very difficult for either team to gain an unexpected advantage. Trick plays are not likely to be seen today. Chances are, that you will see each team “go for it” on 4th and 1, however. Players at the “skill” positions(QBack, T.E., R.B. and Receivers) will have to be at the top of their game. Neither team can afford to miss a block, either. The team that will win, will be the team to capitolize of the other teams mistakes. Michael Oher can ill afford to jump the gun today. Ed “Ball Hawk” Reed will be cautiously looking for that ball to come anywhere near him. Ray Lewis will be hunting “Big Ben”. Flacco will have his finger on the button to launch his missile strikes to whomever gets open. He has enough talented receivers to stretch the Steelers Defense, and open up lanes for Rice to be cooking today. Ok, that was a cheesy line. What did you expect?

I’m honestly having a difficult time picking a winner in this one. I do believe in the Ravens, but this one will be close. Ravens 19 – Steelers 16.

After this game, Steelers fans will be screaming, “OH, THE HUMANITY!!” For today, *IS* the Superbowl!

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Posted by    Date: Monday, January 17, 2011

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Cameron and Mattison….2 *sshole Coordinators!

Screw you Cam Cameron and screw you Greg Mattison!! You 2 reject coordinators blew the game and the season! We are up by 14 at half, and Cameron goes soft by running the ball, which we were unsuccesful all game. Then Mattison, pulls back to that stupid*ss prevent defense, and allows Roethlisberger to pick us apart. Didne he learn from that game in NE? We stopped rushing Brady with that 14 point lead, and lost that game in the 2nd half also!

The Ravens need to use there damn brain! Flacco s*cks. He had 3 Pro-Bowl WR’s, and cant win. Boldin dropped a TD pass, and Huschmanzadah, he dropped a wide open pass to end our season. Every year its the same sh*t with you *ssholes! Yeah we get in the playoffs, but we get ur *ss beat!

I am really pissed at this moment. Fire all of Harbaughs coaches. Get rid of Flacco. Lets let Bulger start. I am sick and tired of this damn Flacco talk. The guy is a joke in every year in the playoffs. He cant win the big game. I am pissed, I may never root for my hometown Ravens again! Screw you Greg Mattison, and screw you once again Cam Cameron. You 2 make Jim Carey and Jeff Daniles, look NOT as dumb. They should make a part 3 to that movies, and star you 2 idiots! Scew everyone at that Ravens Castle. You are all *ssholes!

You and you rich people, I hope you bastards throw up next time you eat your shrimp and stuff. You all live in na castle. I live in a Trailer Park! I gotta message from the Trailer Park working man to you all office people their…Read my middle finger! Understand sign language!  If I ever come to that castle, I will pee on your floor, the hell with the toilet! Thanks for letting us down once again!

You overpaid idiots. Now you bastards will take like  a 4 month vacation, travel across the world, living rich. You all dont care you lost. Your rich, why the hell would you give a sh*t! I go to work for a living. I think every one at the Ravens Castle sounds like they are stuck up! I dont make 5 million a year like you rejects. Hope you rejects have a bad offseason. I am going to e-mail this to every Raven office worker. You all have refused to give the normal bloggers any attention. You are all so stuck up! I will turn every one of you idiots into a joke. Screw you all!!

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Posted by    Date: Saturday, January 15, 2011

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Ravens BURY, the Cinderella Chiefs!!

 The Baltimore Ravens did exactly what I promised! They buried the Chiefs! Alot of you B*tch writers have been calling KC ‘the Cinderella Chiefs’ well Cinderella just lost her glass slipper lol! Matt Cassel is a bumb! A Baltimore fan named Robert Gordan attended the game, sending me a text as he promised he would. It said”KC fans were cussing late in the 3rd quarter. I had to hold back from laughing as they left the stadium.” he told me via text.

Joe Moko had already sent me a e-mail saying” Yo, now we get some paybacks on Pittsburgh yo. We gonna beat dat *ss saturday” he told me. Moko feeling like a winner, after re-breaking former UFC prospect and BP gas pumper Robert Van Peet’s nose  in there re-match a few weeks back(that story is still to come).

So now its time to make Pittsburgh really squeel like the pigs they all are! You beat us in the AFC Championship Game and every time we have met in the playoffs Pittsburgh. This saturday we are bringing the damn shovels to the BURGH, and shutting up you stupid yellow chicken towel waving b*tches….for once and for all! We own you this saturday!

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Posted by    Date: Sunday, January 9, 2011

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Ravens headed to KC, to Spear the Chiefs!!

 The Ravens got the biggest Christmas gift of all, when Oakland, Raider’ed the Chiefs, and allowed us to play the Chiefs next week, instead of the Colts, who have a tendancy to stomp us. Have fun in Indy….Jets!

No way in hell the Cheifs beat us Sunday at 1pm, in the opening round of the NFL playoffs. If you opt to place money on the Chiefs to win, then you are a *sshole, who should give me your money if you want to throw it away that bad. The Chiefs played in a weak *ss division. We aint the Raiders, we are better. If the Raiders stomped them, imagine how bad we will stomp them. We just beat the Chiefs not to long ago. So lets do this one more time.

KC, you can kiss us Baltimore folks *ss! If you live in KC and have a ticket to the game, you payed 2 much $. Sell your damn ticket, go rock climbing or something. We are going to spear them Chiefs this sunday!

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Posted by    Date: Monday, January 3, 2011

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