Tim Lumber….Ravens and Booze!!
Here is a picture of the professional drinker/Ravens writer taken inside MY trailer park home fool. Lets get this blog started, the booze is kicking in, and I’m feeling real damn good!
Im just logging off of the Ravens Red Zone Facebook Fan Page http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/Ravens-Red-Zone/323707055630?ref=ts I had 125 damn fans last week, today I only have 124! Raaaaaa! You crazy fools need to sign up for my Ravens Red Zone on Facebook! I am the greatest damn sports blogger in America, and some Kissing Suzie Kolbert blog has more fans than me! WTF Baltimore?
Rant, Rave…I will do that fool! Sipping booze…yeah, I am the WORLD CHAMP! Sitting here right now in my Trailer Park house, this is some drunken authentic stuff bucky! Lets talk Booze…and Ravens!
How in the hell is “Frail” Fabian Washington ranked the #3 tackling DB in the NFL? This guy is hurt everytime he makes a tackle lol! According to FOOTBALL OUTSIDERS he is the bronze medalist when it comes to tackling!
The Baltimore Sun, keeps talking about how good Donte Stallworth is looking in Training Camp! Finally we have 3 good WR’s! Maybe it will snow it June, who the hell knows! Gone are the days we are forced to watch rejects WR’s! Haaa-laaa-looo-yaaa!
Checking the Ravens Red Zone Fan Club on Facebook, I love it lol! A few of you look like Pro-Drinkers! One of you even has a whiskey pic as your facebook profile pic! Now you my friend have some drinking skills!
Can you sing? I am still waiting for a Official Ravens Red Zone song to be submitted! Pop open a beer, and “JUST SING” make a You-Tube video, and I will post it up! Yeah I know some of you have vocal cords like a 85 year old senior citizen, some of you have broken windows when you hit the high note, but give it a try!
I hope everyone has a GOOD MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND! Hit the beach, hit the grill, hit the bar, have some fun!
Joe Moko…Asks a Rock Band to do a Ravens Red Zone Theme Song!
The bigman has asked a local Baltimore rock singer Johnny Love, to do a Ravens Red Zone official theme song. According to his facebook page, Johnny Love will write and video the song today(thursday). If the song is made, we will post it right here, and make it our official song!
If they dont do the song, I will force the 438 pound Joe Moko, to do 10 push-ups on his knuckles lol! But with Moko’s temper, I may want to back off on that request lol. I asked Joe about this singer he has asked to do our theme song. “Yo, I asked if he could sing a Ravens Red Zone song for us. I think he will do it. I’m excited to hear this song. Its going to be off the chain. Peeps heads will be bopping from side to side” says Joe Moko.
Lets keep our fingers crossed, this great song is made. We will get a interview, and also let you know about there upcoming shows after they make us the song!
Le’Ron McClain Campaign…..McClain 4 RB!!
Le’Ron McClain wants YOUR vote! McClain is campaigning on his twitter account under the name “BringdaPain33″ to become the Ravens starting RB this upcoming season. His twitter account link is http://twitter.com/BringdaPain33
Something tells me he will NOT be succesful. After all he is a 2 time Pro-Bowl FullBack. He was my favorite Raven 2 years ago. The guy is a beast, but he fails to take runs for big yards. He is a dominant 5-10 yard power rusher, who will break down opposing defenses! Ray Rice who was a Pro-Bowl for the Ravens last season at RB, will be the starter again this upcoming season!
So maybe its time for Le’Ron McClain to put away his election hat, and do what he does best…..knock linebackers out of Ray Rice’s way!
Semi-Pro Spotlight….Baltimore Pirates WR, Marcus Lisbon
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbtx7KLqneY[/youtube]
In the pre-season, Marcus Lisbon has done it all for the Pirates. He has ran a kickoff back,caught TD passes, and even fooled the ref on one of his TD’s, in the first ever pre-season game in Pirates history. I never in my life expected a ref to ask me on the sideline “What just happened?” after Lisbon ran a trick play into the endzone in the Pirates 49-0 dominating win over the Jay County(IN) Panthers.
When I was scrolling through facebook, I noticed the famous quote by Lisbon on his page “I AM ONE OF THE BEST WIDE RECIEVERS EVER. #81 ON A MISSION. I PROMISE YOU, YOU’LL KNOW MY NAME BY THE END OF THIS SEASON.” Any player that confident in himself, deserves some publicity. But there is more than confidence. Lisbon runs some of the best routes I have seen in the Semi-Pro level. He is also a legit playmaker…who WILL make a name for himself this upcoming season in a Pirates uniform.
The Pirates also could have a legit pro-prospect in #81. Covering the Baltimore Mariners of the AIFA(Pro Arena Football League) I have seen what the league has to offer. I think Lisbon has as much potential as any wideout in that league. And if Lisbon lives up to his famous facebook quote, he could be playing in that league ,or another pro-league in the near future. But in the meantime him and his fellow Pirates have ONE mission….. and that is too get a Championship Ring!
I recently had the chance to interview this Baltimore Pirates “Playmaker”, and here is what he had to say….
Tim Lumber: You came over from a succesful Semi-Pro team(Bayhawks) where you played for 2 seasons with that team. What was the biggest draw that made you want to come over here, and play with the expansion Baltimore Pirates?
Marcus Lisbon: I was practicing with a good group of guys that were helping me progress my skills, telp, B.Haw, and my man dakota. Those were some of the best DB’s i had seen. So going against them was alot of help. But i wasnt able to but that practice into action. Sitting on the sideline during game day isnt a way to develop, so i had to find somewhere else to call home. Then one day i get a random fb message from my now head coach, and now here we are.
Tim Lumber: Where would you compare this Offense, to the Offense of the BayHawks last season?
Marcus Lisbon: This offense is alot better because im involved in it. lmao but seriously we are really good, we got alot of fast guys who can move in open field.We have some really strong rb’s and some qb’s that can give us the ball. We arent perfect, we still have alot of work to do. But for us to be a first year team, I’m happy about what i see.
Tim Lumber: Something that caught my attention was, on your facebook page you have a famous quote saying” I AM ONE OF THE BEST WIDE RECIEVERS EVER. #81 ON A MISSION. I PROMISE YOU, YOU’LL KNOW MY NAME BY THE END OF THIS SEASON.” It basically looks like you are planning on having a big season this year for the Pirates. What are YOUR offensive goals for this season as a player?
Marcus Lisbon: Playing my game to the best of my ability.
Tim Lumber: Whats your longterm goals as a player, are you hoping to oneday play arena or another type of Pro-Football?
Marcus Lisbon: Yes, i hope to get my ring with the Pirates this season, go to profit league that has good exposure, then hopefully get that shot in the NFL.
Tim Lumber: Last but not least, when the Pirates season is over, will YOU and YOUR teammates be wearing that Championship Ring? And if so, tell us what it would be like to get a Championship Ring.
Marcus Lisbon: YES WE WILL, and i’ll tell u how it will feel once i slide that ring on at the end of the season!
Introducing Semi-Pro Spotlight!
Once a week, I will be giving a semi-pro football player, recognition on Ravens Red Zone. The 1st spotlight will be on Baltimore Pirates WR Marcus Lisbon. Lisbon is one of my top ranked prospects headed into the 2010 Semi-Pro football season.
Joe Flacco….Wont BULK into a HULK!
OR SHOULD HE GO HULK, like the INCREDIBLE One?
Despite some Ravens fans in Baltimore calling for Joe “Wacco”Flacco to “BULK UP LIKE THE HULK UP” Flacco opted to remain on his couch this off-season instead of a Golds Gym weight lifting cycle. Flacco who was hurt almost all last season with a bad rib bruise, has been called “Frail” at times. But according to the Ravens, Flacco wont bulk up because”Kyle Boller bulked up, and it slowed him down”.
Kyle Boller was a BUM before he ever started drinking Muscle Milk and curling 10 pound dumbells. Thats why he is NO longer a Raven, and the team drafted the “Wacco QB” from Delaware State. But I dont see how some “Bench Presses” will NOT benefit Joe! Yeah the rumor mill has him pushing hardcore bench presses(135 pounds lol).
The Ravens were so astatic about Suggs training harder this off-season after his weak 4 sack season in 2009. But what about Flacco? Last time I checked the stats, and game highlights, the QB was AWFUL last year! At times he threw passes for INT’s in the endzone that had me wodering if he was “Drinking on the Job lol”.
I think the funniest thing I heard last season from Joe Flacco from a Ravens Extra interview was when Flacco talked about meeting Michael Oher’s mom in the elevator at M&T Bank Stadium. In that elevator was the “Real Deal” the mother played my Sandra Bullock in “The Blind Side”. In that elevator, Flacco said Oher’s mom told him “You cant play. You are overated” only to have Oher say”Mom, dont say that”.
Flacco its time to go to 7-11 and BUY you some Muscle Milk. Buy some Dumbells…you big Dummy! You need to Bulk up like the Hulk Up!
Peter King….ONLY Ranks Ravens as 3rd Best Team for 2010!
Sports Illustrated’s Peter Queen….I mean King, only has the Ravens ranked as the 3rd BEST team in the NFL this upcoming season! According to this ancient loser, the Packers are the #1 team, followed by the sorry Chargers headed into the 2010 season. I do agree with his Pittsburgh Steeler ranking of #12, and the loser Rams at #30. BUT some fools in Baltimore are applauding King for picking us as 3rd best team. Not me!
We are the #1 team headed into the NFL season. King says “Boldin will never make it thru the entire season”. This coming from a man who calls himself the “King”. Peter is not the “King” according to his wife lol! He is rumored to drink more Vodka than a Russian! And now we are supposed to think he is correct? Was he drunk when he made this prediction? I am pissed as HELL! I have called out Peter King on the Fan Nation message board world in the past. I have gotten more views than his posts there several times. Peter King has avoided me like a Plague visiting the scumbag Taliban!
Peter King writes down chicken scratch, then goes back to his 8 million dollar Mansion. He dont give a rats *ss if he is wrong. Who cares about studying. He could care less about us Baltimore. He thinks we will win the Bronze Metal in the NFL this year. But this aint the damn Olympics! The only bronze we are winning is the Bronze Super Bowl Trophy! Peter King, next time you want to predict the Ravens as only the 3rd best team in the NFL, you may want to evaluate yourself! According to rumors, you are only in 3rd place with your wife!
Sports Science Video Test…Ray Lewis vs Police Battering Ram!!
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBVCyXdPevY[/youtube]
Ray Lewis vs a steel batttering ram used by the police! Who can cave in a solid locked door with more force? Steel vs #52…find out who wins!!
Looking for a Ravens Red Zone….THEME SONG!
Every other damn website now adays has there own theme song and stuff lol. I am sending out MY very own search for musical talent out there! Create your best Ravens Red Zone song, and you could see it posted right here. The winner will become our Official Ravens Red Zone theme song.I wanna hear the words”Ravens Red Zone”, I wanna hear my name, I wanna hear about booze(if you have a bottle of booze in video thats bonus points lol), I wanna hear about the Ravens, and how Pittsburgh Blows! Dont be shy B-More! Submit a You-Tube style Ravens Red Zone theme song to me…..e-mail me at timlumber1@aol.com and send me the song. I will also do a full-interview right here with the winner. You will get some good publicity out of this. I have alot of connections out there. I am a part-time media writer in Baltimore, who knows the WHO’s Who! You may even get a record deal if the song is good! I will promote you if you are the “Real Deal” like Hollyfield lol. Also you can submit through my facebook account at http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1638828369 There can be ONLY 1 Official Ravens Red Zone theme song. Make my readers bop there heads….here is the mic…now show us what you got!
Dolly Lumber….Sporting a Ravens Shirt!
Yep, I promised my wife I would post a pic of our child Dolly Lumber…..the biggest Steeler hater Dog in America lol! Look into her RED DEMONIC eyes Pittsburgh! This little critter packs more BITE than a bottle of whiskey. Looks can be decieving, which is just the way Dolly Lumber likes it. I dare a Steeler fan to try to pet her lol!