Archive for January, 2010

Joe Moko: This Raven Fan is Large and in Charge!!

HERE is the EXCLUSIVE JOE MOKO story. The 413 pounder, who is a former hotdog eating champion and current bareknuckel fighter in Max Meadows, WV. This WILL be his only column, and is 1st time in 20 years he has spoken publicly.

Yo, its Joe Moko. Shut your HOOT Steeler and Colts fans, listen to what the bigman has to say. I dont give a rats HOOT what any Steeler fan has to say. You dont like me….come shut me up fruitcake. I support the Ravens, I own a Ray Lewis jersey….you dont like Ray Lewis…come try and rip this shirt off my back. I will rearrange your teeth.

I am a former hotdog eating Champion….who backs the Baltimore Ravens all the way here in Max Meadows, West Virginia. Yo Brady, I am may be 45, but I will mess you chump. You act like some punk pretty boy. I want to meet your wife, you nerd! Fight me in front of her…and she will be leaving with me.

I am a bad, bad, bad, badman. I dont take any HOOT. You dont like me…fill up your gas tank and come up to Max Meadows. Come tell me to my face Colts and Steeler fans…you dont like me. I will break you down in a bareknuckel WV Mountain fight. I may even do a Ray Lewis dance after I whip your HOOT.

Yo, I gotta run. Im 45….not 12. I gotta hit the bar tonight. Met me a new woman down here. Sporting that Ravens jersey tonight. She is going to fall in love with the bigman. I want to say peace to Baltimore, you all live in my birthtown. Ravens will be good next season….and for all them haters….you can kiss my HOOT!

413 Pound HotDog Champ to Write One Story For Ravens Red Zone

I was surpised and thrilled when the 413 pound hot dog eating legend, turned bare knuckel fighter opted to finally do one full column story. Thats right folks…..Joe Moko aka Golden Gutt has written his 1st and ONLY column for Ravens Red Zone. “This is a one time deal” says the 413 pounder. “I am too busy making history, than to rott my life away writing stories” said Moko.

This will be the 1st time the bigman has ever written a column. He is a die hard Ravens fan, with a bad attitude. He is the one guy…you dont want to meet in a dark alley. The self proclaimed baddest man alive, this 413 pounder has rocked the Max Meadows fight scene, and he even called out the Golden Boy…Tom Brady just weeks ago. I have already read his column.

And I wil post it….this weekend. The history making event, will be an exclusive for Ravens Red Zone. Joe Moko is a 1988 Amatuer Hotdog eating Champion. The guy has refused to talk to the media for over 20 years. I have exclusive access to things he does. The only reason I have access, is because Moko oneday believes when he dies, his story should be told. Perhaps Best-Selling Books, and a Hollywood Movie, who knows.

But Moko will set the record straight. This guy loves the Ravens. He has a grudge on Steeler fans. Its going to be a once in a lifetime story….I Guarantee YOU!!

John Lee Roy Linde: What a long strange road it‘s been

 
The Ravens entered this season with high expectations. For the first three games, they lived up to them. Then came the Bengals. Suddenly, the Ravens weren’t so tough. Cincinatti was the shocker of the season, and left the Ravens, as well as other teams, scrambling to figure out what happened.

The Ravens started out with a 3 game winning streak, then matched it with a losing streak. After that, it was a bunch of on-again off-again performances. In a twist of irony, the Ravens beat all of the teams they should have, but not the teams they could have.

Yes, there was some very biased officiating against them. In the game against the Patriots, anytime a Raven got within three feet of Tom Brady, a flag was thrown. Maybe that rule change got lost in cyberspace when the memo was sent out. That, and several other memos were apparently lost.

Penalties were a huge issue this year. Several games were lost due to a complete lack of discipline. There were even times when Coach Harbaugh looked completely lost on the sideline. He definitely needs to learn better clock management. At the end of the regular season, the Ravens had perched themselves at the top of the ladder in Penalties.

Even with all the adversity they faced from without and within, the Ravens managed to overcome and make it to the playoffs. The sweetest part of it, was that by making it, they bumped the defending Superbowl Champs out of the post season.

Wild Card Round saw the Ravens do what they’ve never done. Defeat the Patriots in their house. Many people thought it was impossible. Very few truly believed the “Dirty Birds of Baltimore” had it in them. After a 33-14 pasting, suddenly, the Band Wagon was weighed down like the Titanic. Again.

Semi-Final Round saw the Ravens go into Indianapolis. Manning and Company had been off a week(first round bye), and hadn’t played a full game the two weeks prior. Some said Rested, some said Rusty. As fate would have it, the Ravens fumbled away an opportunity to finally be rid of the Irsay Curse, or “The Cursay” as I like to put it.

The Ravens will need to make some moves this offseason. It’s possible that some of the key players may retire. Ed Reed may need surgery on his neck. If this happens, his career is over. Derrick Mason is another question mark. I really hope he sticks around, I believe he has a few good years left in him, and he would be invaluable for teaching a drafted receiver.

There are rumours floating around that Heap may be out the door, as well. This would be a key loss, and a huge mistake in my book. In recent years, he has been used mainly as a blocker, but hasn’t lost his ability to catch a ball thrown his direction. Besides that, what will the crowd yell when the tight end makes a great play?

Speaking of fans… this has been a good year for finding out who the real fans are. I call it like I see it, good, bad or ugly. However, no matter how they do, I still wear my gear, fly my flags, and pick them to win the next game(Readers of the B Free Daily can confirm this). The band-wagon was abused this year. Weeks two and three, people were hoping on. Weeks five and six saw them jumping off like it was on fire. As the last weeks of the regular season came about, it was packed up again. As it crossed the finish line, those without a reserved seat can be thankful that the weigh-station was closed.

With the season over, it’s time that I drop some much deserved appreciation where it belongs: To Matt Vensel, for giving me the opportunity to call the games in the B Free Daily this season. To Tim Lumber, for seeing my one-liners, and giving me the chance to write for this website. To my girlfriend, Katina for the constant encouragement. Last, but not least, to all of the Ravens fans out there who have read my ramblings for the past few months. I thank all of you, and hope you will keep reading as I begin my coverage of the Baltimore Mariners this season.

John Lee Roy Linde

413 Pound Hot Dog Eating Champion….Buys Ray Lewis Jersey

413 pound former amateur HotDog eating champion Joe Moko, informed me via e-mail, he purchased a Ray Lewis jersey at a local sporting goods store in Max Meadows, WV. this past weekend. He tells me that WV is Steeler Country. He says” that he is sick and tired of seeing his neighbors wear Steeler jerseys year round”. “If somebody mouths off to me for having on this jersey, they better have a good reason, or I am going to hurt them” says Joe Moko.

And Moko, has had great success recently as a bareknuckle brawler, fighting out of Max Meadows, WV. “I am the toughest Raven fan in America, I am the guy who scared Tom Brady” says Moko. While some websites picked up the story about him challenging Tom Brady to a fist fight, Brady nor his agent never replied back to his challenge he tells me. Most websites didnt believe Moko could beat Tom Brady in a fight, but judging by his last 2 street fights, this Raven fan…is as bad as he says he is!

And now, he is hoping some fool in Max Weadows says something wrong to him while he is wearing his #52 Ray Lewis jersey. “If anybody says any thing negative about me wearing this jersey, it will be there worst mistake of there life” says Moko. “I am from Baltimore, I will die a Raven fan, us Raven fans have class, unlike other NFL cities” he replies. And a message to Max Meadows, WV…if you see a big man wearing a Ravens jersey….keep your mouth shut lol. He is Large and in Charge! Try not to hurt anyone Joe!!

Tim Lumber:Ravens Red Zone Story in Kissing Suzzie Colbert Blog

I was on my favorite newspaper website B, when the Boston Native and longtime reader of that paper who comments on there regularly with me, showed me a link lol. Sawxfaninmd…..NO…today YOU are Famous lol! You are on my blog….here at the greatest damn Ravens Website there ever was….Ravens Red Zone. Here is the comment he left for me….

sawxfaninmd Says:
January 23rd, 2010 at 11:08 am | Reply in this thread | Rate this comment | report this comment

John Lee Roy Linde: Trampled

  Well, the ghost of Irsay still haunts Baltimore. Once again, the Ravens lose a game they could have won. This one game epitomizes how this entire season has unfolded.

Ed Reed, who may have played his last game in the NFL, picked Manning off twice. The first one, he gifted back to Indy. The second, was gifted back by a team mate who earned a penalty. It’s this same lack of discipline that has cost the Ravens games all season long.

Joe Cool has cooled off a bit with his play, but he did show some fire on the sidelines. I’m not sure what all was said, but some of the play calling this season has been questionable. Flacco has one hell of an arm, and pretty decent accuracy. Part of the problem that I see, is the limited amount of good receivers he has.

The time has come to focus on next season, as this one is over.

John Lee Roy Linde

Erin Christine…Raven Fan and Friends Take RoadTrip To Indy!

  It had been planned, on a spur of the moment. As a diehard Raven fan, Erin Christine and her friends wanted to do a roadtrip to Indy, to support our Ravens in the playoffs against the hated Colts. So they opted to drive all the way up there to root on, and support there team. Little did they know, Indy fans would prove they would be more classless than Steeler fans. I recently had the chance to interview diehard Raven fan Erin Christine…and here is what she had to say about the RoadTrip to Indy….

Ravens Red Zone:  You went on a road trip to Indy, for the Ravens/Colts playoff game. Did it feel good to drive all the way down to Indy to support your Ravens, and show Baltimore’s colors?

Erin Christine:  It was a very exciting trip. We basically were running off adrenaline and couldn’t believe we were actually going. We had decorated the car the night before with Raven flags and window decals. It was fun seeing other Ravens fans on the road when we would stop somewhere or even if we were just driving through the different states. When we pulled up to our hotel we got excited to see that there were about 10-15 more Ravens fans staying at the hotel as well.

Ravens Red Zone:  There was a bar full of all Ravens fans in Indy. You were in that bar…was it a Raven party in there, how much fun was it?

Erin Christine:  We actually went to Howl at the moon, Which was throwing a Huge Ravens party before the game. So it was nice to finally go in somewhere that you were welcomed. But once the game started it cleared out…Because everyone was going to the game. It was a blast being in there with all of them having a good time and getting prepared for the game

Ravens Red Zone:  They say the Indianapolis guys are nerds. Did any nerdy Colts fans try to talk to you and your friends, and how dumb do guys look wearing nerdy Colt t-shirts?

Erin Christine:  They  really werent trying to talk to us. We got a lot of crap walking down the street. I expected things to be said, but maybe in a joking manner like you would see in Baltimore, I didn’t expect it it to be at the extent that it was. Especially grown mean walking up to 3 Girls and getting in our faces. Ravens fans are so much better then Indy Fans. I got spit on and the other girl got called a whore. 

Ravens Red Zone:  Were the fans sitting near you all, respectful or were they rude?

Erin Christine:  The Indy fans are very rude. I have been to a lot of games and I have to say they are the worst. They have no respect for anyone..Not even 3 girls who are minding their own business rooting for their football team. They take it to a whole nother level there. It is clear they HATE the Ravens and The Fans.

Ravens Red Zone:  How would you describe the Colts dome stadium?

Erin Christine:  I think the stadium was the nicest thing about the Colts lol. We actually sold our tickets and I didnt make it to see the inside of the stadium. Because of things that happened prior in the night, we just stayed at the bar for the game.

Ravens Red Zone:  Even though we lost, how proud are you of the Ravens this season?

Erin Christine: Im proud they made it this far. No matter if they win or lose Im still proud of my boys. They had an awesome year. It just wasn’t meant for us to go all the way this year….There’s always next year!

(7) Is there anything you would like to add about the trip(you/yourfriends/experience while down there)?

Erin Christine:  All in all we had a blast..It was a good experience, but We realized that Indy fans have no respect. You will never walk into a bar in Baltimore and get turned away because of the jersey you have on. I would do it all over again. It was all about the experience and 3 best friends bonding over football.

Here are some pics Erin Christine took with friends while in Indy…

     
Written by: Tim Lumber

Mark Clayton…Your Raven Career is Over you BUMB!

The next couple of weeks, I am going to talk about some of the overpaid bumbs on the Ravens, who should and WONT be back next season. While there are a quite a few I want to mention, Mark Clayton is Public Enemy #1!! When drafting a WR you need to get a BadGuy. People bashed me before the draft when I said the Ravens should have picked up Percy Harvin…he would be picked by the Vikings and would win NFL Offense Rookie of the Year honors.

Look at the facts, T.O.,Randy Moss,Heinz Ward, and the list goes on and on. When you pick a WR, unless you have that idiot Peyton Manning as your QB, you need a tough, ignort idiot as a WR. Its the toughest position to play in the NFL, nice guys do finish last in the WR postion in the NFL.

Mark Clayton, is how he looks…wimpy. He lacks mental toughness, and would NOT surprise me, if we found out he was secretly related to another bust #1 Draft Pick Travis Taylor. OK Ravens, you could have signed T.O. in the Off-Season, you tried to get him in a trade, but the sorry Bills refused. Now T.O. is a Free Agent. With Derrick Mason set to retire…what better example than to bring in the real bad boy of the NFL, to help give these wimpy WR’s some toughness that they lack?

Another rumor, and probable fact is, the entire WR core wont be coming back. In other words Baltimore..this will be a good thing! Mark Clayton….pack your bags and leave Baltimore…YOU are deffeintly NOT coming back next season!

Ravens Lose to Colts…Season Ends!

 Ray Lewis would argue the bad penalty call(seen here from tonights game). But as usual the refs were against us. Screw the NFL refs and I hope the Colts lose. Thats all I will say at this moment…I am still fuming from this loss. Our damn season is over! I need some whiskey to calm my nerves.

Tim Lumber: R.I.P. Colts…Today your Season Ends!!!

 I am sitting back and laughing Indianapolis! You stole out team in 1984! Everyone of you smelly Colts fans will shut up for 30 seconds and let this damn Raven fan clear the air! Tonight at 8pm…get ready to get a beating….Baltimore style. I could care less about everyone of you drunkin, smelly, dorks!  When I look at the city of Indy….I see nothing but losers..hahaha!

Peyton Manning will get a rude awakening tonight…Brady Down…now its your turn Manning! Go make some more damn MasterCard commercials…or go play ping pong with Justin Timberlake. Jim Irsay…quit sniffing that Nacar Indy Motor Oil. I am sitting here with a bottle of 100 proof Old Crow whiskey. I am celebrating right now you bucktooth beavers!

I have no worries what so ever. I am so confident…if I were in Las Vegas…I would be the guy leaving with the suitcase full of cash!  Rest in Peace….Colts! Your 0-4 lifetime when getting a bye week in the playoffs….make it 0-5 losers…hahahahahaha. Now bug off Indy…I have some more whiskey to guzzle down!